


Support Staff

by MaevesChild



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:07:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22205329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaevesChild/pseuds/MaevesChild
Summary: The galaxy is full of heroes, but not everyone can be in the stories. Sometimes, it’s the people you don’t see that make the biggest difference.The Rebellion has control of Lothal and even if the Empire isn’t making any moves, there’s plenty to do to rebuild a broken world and the broken people who set it free.
Relationships: Alexsandr Kallus/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

There wasn’t a celebration in the streets when her transport set down on Lothal. That was the welcome for heros, for  _ big moments.  _ She wasn’t any of those things.

Neela was part of what Rebel Command on Yavin could spare to try to hold the planet. A token, since no one expected the Empire to bother to try again. They had bigger things to focus on.

Her team, such as it was, all had blasters of course, but they were the leftover ones that didn’t work all that well. They weren’t soldiers or Jedi so weapons were an afterthought at best.

They were those cogs in the machine that even the Rebellion needed to keep things from falling apart. Former slaves, servants, random volunteers who wanted to help but didn’t have any particular talents ended up here. They were support staff _. _

Those fancy bases didn’t build themselves, after all. Uniforms didn’t keep themselves clean and mended. Shelves couldn't self stock. People like her, like the rest of the wide eyed gaggle on the transport did those things. Mon Mothma didn’t have soldiers to spare, but there were plenty of cooks and mechanics and janitors to go around.

The reality of things made it sound like she should be resentful. The heroes got accolades and parades and in the end, all the hard drudge work would be forgotten.

But Neela wasn’t resentful. She was proud.

That drudgery was going to be her life no matter who she worked for. Whether it was the Empire, some independent trader or the Miner’s Guild, it would be the same. At least when she put together panels and stocked the clinic here, she was part of something worthwhile.

She made a difference in the rebellion, even if she wasn’t important.

When they filed out of the transport, all wide eyes and enthusiasm, her heart was beating hard. Some of  _ them _ were there on the landing platform. The Ghost Crew. They weren’t there to greet the transport of course. Their intense conversation was something a galaxy of importance away from what awaited her. Still, she was part of it, even if it was a little part.

Neela cried when the Jedi were lost too; even if they didn’t know her, she knew them.

She recognized these three too. They were famous. Garazeb Orrelios, Captain of the Honor Guard and the last Lasat; Sabine Wren, the mechanical genius Mandalorian and Alexandr Kallus, the Imperial defector. She had seen them before from afar, but never this close. The Lasat was bigger than she thought he’d be.

Neela ran a hand over the compact curls of her short dark hair and brushed non-existent dust off her pants. She felt under-dressed.

The transport captain grabbed her attention with barked orders, directing them into groups. After the bombardment of the city, there was plenty to do.

She was listening to her assignment when she heard the click of boots and claws on the landing pad coming their way.

“Glad to have you all here,” Garazeb said. “I’m Zeb. This is Kallus and that over there is Sabine.”

The captain chuckled as they all twittered with excitement. “They all know who you are, Sir.”

“Right,” Zeb said with a disarming grin. Neela supposed he would be terrifying to meet on a battlefield, but he looked friendly and approachable. “I guess we made a lot of trouble to get everyone’s attention. Anyway, I know you aren’t soldiers, but it's good to have you. This place needs all the help it can get.”

“Everyone is important,” Kallus added. He smiled absently, focusing on the older man standing next to Neela and putting his hand on the man’s shoulder. He was close enough that she caught the faint scent of soap and leather. “We’ll keep Lothal safe together.”

“You heard them,” The Captain said. “Let’s get to work.”

Kallus patted the man on the arm before letting him go. Neela was still smiling when she started to get to her group for work assignments. She heard Zeb behind her.

“You’re getting the hang of this.”

Kallas made a sound, like he wasn’t sure he believed it. “I didn’t know.”

“Know what?”

“How much better it was this way. To be kind, thankful; instead of cold.”

Neela glanced back at them as Zeb slung his arm over Kallus’s shoulders. “I’m glad I didn’t kill you.”

Kallus laughed. “Me too.” He shook his head and Neela thought it made his hair look pretty.

Apparently she was staring hard enough that Kallus could feel it, because he met her eyes for heartbeat. He nodded at her and smiled, before elbowing Zeb in the side and the two of them turned away. Back to all those important world shaking things they did.

He wouldn’t remember her after a few minutes, but she’d never forget.

* * *

After a few months, the shine wore off. It wasn’t that Neela didn’t want to be there -- she knew how the world worked. But still, it was work and it was hard. Most days went about the same for people like her.

Wake up, work, fall asleep exhausted, rinse, repeat.

The worst of the heavy lifting was done and that was a comfort. Homes were still being rebuilt, but that was a job for specialists. The temporary housing was up; the command center and barracks were almost finished. There was a peace to maintenance, instead of damage control that she was looking forward to.

For now, Neela was on her back, jammed up underneath a console. It was her job to screw on the outside panels now that the electricians were done with their part. If the Rebellion had more credits, it would be a job for droids but a droid cost more than all the food she’d eat in a lifetime. Manual labor it was.

Her hands were calloused, nails ragged. The dust from the floor looked pale and grey against her dark brown skin.  _ The hands of someone who works for a living _ , her father always said. It was nothing to be ashamed of.

People came in and out as she worked, but sliding her back on the floor from panel to panel meant she didn’t know who and didn’t worry about it. Her arms were tired from holding them over her head. A few more minutes and her shift was over. She was determined to get this done, so she didn’t have to do it again tomorrow.

Neela wasn’t thinking about much else besides the whir of the screwdriver. Not until someone tripped over her outstretched legs. She promptly dropped the thin metal panel on her face. She curled up on instinct, cursing under her breath at the sharp pain blossoming out from the center of her shin and from her forehead.

She dragged herself out from under the console. The aluminum panel made a squealing racket as it clattered to the floor. The owner of the boots whose treads left their imprint on her jumpsuit crouched down, making apologetic noises. She wasn’t in the mood for an apology. She was in the mood to make whoever it was finish putting in these stupid screws.

“Damnit-” she started at the same time the man began to speak.

“Are you-”

They both stopped.

Neela blinked. It wasn’t some nobody she could curse out for not paying attention. It was Kallus. Her heart pitter-pattered a little. She still hadn’t forgotten his sad puppy dog eyes or his pretty hair. And definitely not all the dramatic stories people told after a few glasses of the good stuff.

He started again. “Are you okay?” He had a clipped Imperial accent, all the words enunciated without even trying.

She nodded dumbly, not wanting to sound like the backwater nobody she was.

Kallus frowned. “I’m typically more aware of my surroundings. Here-” He offered her his hand. “Let me help you up.”

As much as every fiber of her being wanted to take his hand, if only to have some of his renown rub off on her, she had to wave him off.

“Thanks, but I need to get this panel on. If I get up, I won’t want to crawl back down again.” Her voice sounded strained, even to her own ears. Maybe she’d hit her head harder than she thought. Or it was hero worship. Or a bit of both.

“Well, let me help you then,” he said, siding down to sit on the floor beside her. “It’s the least I can do after injuring you.”

Neela chuckled. “I hurt myself worse twice already today, but I won’t turn away help. If you hold up the panel it should only take a minute.”

He picked up the panel and she help rotate it back into the right position. She gave him a nod and they both laid down tucked under the console. They got the metal into place and she aligned the screw holes. She got the two on her side easy, but she was going to have to learn over him to get the other two. She was suddenly flustered. She debated if she should hand him the tool or tell him she had it or do something else that was a smooth segue so he’d leave. Then she could fan the heat out of her face in peace. Instead she froze midway through shifting toward him. He glanced at her and smiled, taking the driver from her. He zipped the screws into place while she was too dumbfounded to move.

“There,” he said, scooting out from under the console. He sat up and was back on his feet by the time she collected herself enough to move. How did people manage this working with heroes business anyway?  _ Honestly. _ It was a wonder she didn’t shut down like an overheated droid.

He seemed to notice her failure to function and looked concerned. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, sorry,” she said, rubbing her hands on her knees. “I just- I mean, I’m not-” She tripped over her words.

It was like it knocked the wind out of him. “I understand. I know I make a lot of people uncomfortable. It’s hard to trust  _ the Imperial _ . I wouldn’t trust me either.”

Neela’s face fell and she scrambled to her feet. Her shin shot pain up to her knee but she ignored it.

“Wait, no,” she said. “That’s not it. Not at all.”

His face asked a question but he didn’t speak.

Neela groaned. “I’m not good with people, especially not important ones. If anything, it’s the opposite. You’re a  _ hero _ and I’m no one.” She shrugged but her face was burning. “I got nervous.”

“Oh,” he said, his whole demeanor relaxing. “I’m not a hero. I’ve got a long way to go before I make up for all the things I’ve done wrong. You needn't be nervous.” He took a deep breath and like he did with that man on the day they arrived, he put his hand on her shoulder. “And you aren’t no one. You’re a rebel.”

For a second, she felt special but she realized it didn’t have anything to do with her. This was about him. She  _ was _ nobody, but maybe she could make him feel better for a minute. That was something more special than she’d done in a long time.

She mimicked what he was doing, putting her free hand on his arm and nodding.

“Still,” she said. “Without you and your friends, none of us would be here. Lothal would still belong to the Empire. Whatever you used to be, you're a rebel now too. And that makes you a hero to me.”

Kallus smiled and his hand squeezed her shoulder. It was a good honest smile that made the corners of his amber eyes crinkle. It was endearing.

“Thank you.” He breathed deep like he was trying to take the feeling all in and hang on to it. “I never thought tripping over someone would make my day better.”

She chuckled despite herself. “Don’t get any ideas. That hurt like mad.”

He laughed.

He still didn’t know her name, but maybe this time, he’d remember her.


	2. Chapter 2

Neela didn’t see even a glimpse of Kallus for the next six weeks. At first, she thought about him obsessively and started to wonder if she’d developed more than a simple case of hero worship. Thoughts of the warmth of his hand on her shoulder, of the way his shiny hair reflected the flickering lights in the command center, of the faint clean scent of him — she could think of little else.

But distance helped. She knew it was foolish to have thoughts like this about a man who hadn’t even asked her name. He’d likely forgotten her by now, though she did let herself hang on to the idea that she’d given him a little something. 

_ Whatever you used to be, you’re right, you are a rebel now. And that makes you a hero to me _ .

She worked for the Empire too; almost everyone had at one point or another before they came to the Rebellion but it had to be different for him. He hadn’t just worked for the Empire because he once lived in the Republic and things changed so slowly it was hard to notice. He’d actively worked against the Rebellion and done terrible things in the Empire’s name, if the stories were to be believed anyway.

Probably hard to look in the mirror.

She tried to let it go; let the idea of him go. It wasn’t like she knew him at all anyway, just a collection of stories told by unreliable narrators.

Best to just get back to work. She felt at least passably normal for a whole two cycles before she saw him again. She was helping unload the meager harvest from one of the few functioning local farms on the landing pad when he appeared, walking slighting behind Sabine Wren, looking both irritated and chastised at the same time.

“You’re driving everyone crazy, Kallus. It’ll do you good,” she said. There was no doubt Sabine was at least two decades younger than he was but she had an easy grasp on being commanding. “And don’t go out there alone. It’s safe, but you’ll need help. By the time you get back, hopefully you won’t feel like pacing a hole in the deck plating anymore.”

He sighed at her melodramatically. “You’re right.”

Sabine gave him a cheeky grin. “I always am.” She sobered. “Hera should return from Yavin in four or five cycles. Plenty of time for you to survey the farms and be here when she gets back. I’m sure she’ll have something dire we have to do and we’ll all be better off if you aren’t a mess when it happens.”

He rubbed his hands over his face. Neela realized at that point she was staring again and turned around, trying to focus on the crates instead, but she’d moved the last one without even realizing it.

Time to get out of here before she made an ass of herself again.

She heard him grumbling behind her and it took all her self control not to turn around. She was saved by the farmer coming around to double check the latches on his trailer.

“Thanks again for helping unload. Those jogan fruit crates get heavy and my antigravs have been on the fritz for ages.”

Neela smiled at him and he was too preoccupied to notice how fake it was. “I’m just glad your trees are still producing. This will make a lot of people very happy in the mess hall.”

“Always glad to do my part for the saviors of Lothal.” He patted the back of his speeder. “Looks like that’s it. I gotta get back to work.”

“Safe travels, friend.” Neela watched as he left, listening carefully. There was chatter, but she didn’t hear Kallus or Sabine. She felt relieved and disappointed at the time. She had foolishly hoped he’d remember her enough to say hello.

She hadn’t done as well as she hoped at letting go of that fantasy.

She gathered her face into a neutral expression and squared her shoulders just in time to feel a soft touch on the outside of her arm. She turned around to find Kallus standing right behind her, smiling faintly.

“Hello again,” he said. “I trust your shin healed well?”

_ He remembered. _

“...yes, only bruised. It was fine by the next morning.” She wanted to say more, but it was hard enough getting that out.

“What about your head?”

“Still hard as a rock.”

He laughed. “Glad to hear it.” He cocked his head thoughtfully. “Say, do you know how to run a soil and mineral analyzer?”

“Yeah, of course,” she said. “I grew up on a freighter that ran raw materials between the Outer Rim and the Coreworlds. Making sure the cargo was good was a regular thing we had to do. Why?”

“There’s a few abandoned farms just outside the city that we want to survey and see if we can get them back producing food again. I can assess the buildings and the tech, but agriculture isn’t something I’ve had any training with.”

“Oh,” she said. He was asking for her help?  _ Wow. _ “I can show you how.”

“I’d love to learn, but I should to take someone along for the trip regardless. That is if you can spare the time and would be willing to help.”

Her eyebrows crawled halfway up her forehead. “I can make time, but I’m not sure I’m the right choice. If anything went wrong, well, I know which way to point a blaster, but that’s about the range of my combat skills.”

“I doubt we’ll run into anything that needs blasting.” He smiled. “But I’ll make you an agreement. Come along and train me on the analyzer and I’ll give you some combat basics in the evenings. Should only take a few cycles at most.”

This was crazy. This was the sort of nonsense those stories on the holonet used to play.

He saw her hesitation. “Oh, it occurs to me I haven’t even asked your name. My mother would be mortified at my poor manners.” He tried to laugh but it sounded hollow. “Assuming she’d even speak to me these days, but I digress.” He held out his hand. “Alexandr Kallus, formerly of Coruscant and Rebel agent at your service.”

She took his wrist, because that’s what you did when someone offered their hand. “Neela. Neela Gregor.” She smirked. “Technically also of Coruscant, though I haven’t lived there for, well, forever.”

“Pleased to make your acquaintance Neela Gregor, without the bodily harm this time.” His fingers wrapped around her wrist were gentle, but firm. She hated when he let go.

She felt a little lightheaded, but why not? She’d get her chance to know him after all, and likely that would put this silliness out of her head for good. “Okay,” she agreed. “I’ll need to let my team know I’ll be gone, but when do we leave?”

“According to the map, we could make it to the first farm with plenty of time to spare if we left shortly. Would an hour be enough time to gather your things?”

She nodded. “Not a problem, sir.”

“I will see you then,” he said. “Oh and Neela?”

“Yes, sir?”

“No need to call me sir. I’ve been called  _ sir _ more than enough for this lifetime. Kallus will do fine.” He paused for a heartbeat. “Or Alexandr, if you prefer.”

“Which do you prefer?”

He looked thoughtful and tucked a nonexistent lock of hair behind his ear. “From you?  _ Alexandr _ would be lovely.”

“Alright then, Alexandr. I’ll see you in an hour.” She smiled. “Don’t forget sun protection. I hear it really blazes once you get out of the city,”

* * *

She felt so awkward as the Capital city disappeared into the distance. This was a terrible idea.

This did seem like a holonet set up, but in those everyone was flirtatious. There would be foreshadowing before they even headed out. But here, he hadn’t shown the slightest interest and she was certainly not the type.

This was stupid. She should have stayed home.

_ Wait. _

_ Home? _ She hadn’t expected that feeling, but it was true. This was the most like home anywhere had felt in a while. She even had time to develop a ill-advised crush on someone way out of her league. That was something good in itself. Neela couldn’t remember the last time things were peaceful enough to even think about it.

Some people thrived on conflict, but she wasn’t one of those people.

She glanced over at Kallus...at Alexandr. He was focused on the dusty remnants of the road ahead of them. He occasionally glancing down at the map on the display where the small dot of their speeder raced toward their first destination. She closed her eyes for a moment, letting the warm wind brush across her face.

It wasn’t so bad, being out here.

When she opened her eyes again, he was looking at her. Just a quick look before he turned his attention back to the road, but he seemed lighter than he had before. Happy to have something to do.

“Ah, there it is,” he said, raising a hand and pointing to the outline of some small buildings in the distance. He looked back at her. “The countryside is prettier than I expected, even after all the destruction.”

It was pretty barren; that was true. To the people who lived here before -- well, they said it was destroyed, but he had a point. The pillars of stone were more shades of brown than she had names for and there were signs of life returning. A lot of the golden grass was flattened, but sprouts and flowers poked through. It would take people longer to recover, but nature was persistent.

The speeder was fast and it didn’t take long before they came across the first part of the fields. The fence posts were snapped off, the power for the laser wires lost. The ground was churned and dark, full of dry cracks and the scent of scorched soil.

Alexandr slowed the speeder so they could look closer as they approached the buildings. The house was mostly intact, but the outbuildings were in rubble. A few bleached bones of livestock lay baking in the midday sun.

Neela’s heart dropped. Why would the Empire do this, destroy everything?

He stopped the speeder near the house. There was only the sound of wind, of the half-broken blades on the wind turbine nearby clicking, but moving too slow and unbalanced to generate any power.

Alexandr let out a huff of air, staring straight ahead, pale as a ghost.

“I joined the Imperial military, the security bureau because I believed in order,” he said. “The galaxy was full of people wanting to tear things down; pirates, smugglers, rebels. They were going to hurt people, turn the stability of the Empire to ashes.”

Neela watched his throat move as he swallowed hard. He made a face like his mouth tasted bitter.

“But all along it was the Empire destroying things; lives, people. We did this.  _ I did this. _ It’s my fault.”

She wasn’t sure what to say. She worked for the Empire too, or the trader she worked for did. At least, he did before he started smuggling weapons to the Rebellion and she ended up here.

It was different though. She knew that. 

“Maybe,” she said, quiet. “But not anymore. You’re gonna fix it.”  _ Ugh, she sounded insipid. _

“Could it ever be enough?” He was looking right at her, as if she could forgive him for everything. Neela wasn’t in any position to do that. She didn’t even make the choice to be here, even if she was happy how it worked out. If her boss hadn’t changed sides, she’d still be running ore and grain for the Empire, like always.

She half shrugged, poking about in her head for words. He seemed very human. Maybe too human. It wasn’t helping her feel less towards him, not like she hoped. “Whatever you do now, it has to be better than before, right? All anyone can do is try.”

“You’re right,” he said, wiping his palms on his thighs. “Moping doesn’t help, certainly.” He shook his head and made a face, taking a deep breath. “I apologize; you didn’t sign up for this. Let’s get to what we came here to do.”

She reached out a hand toward him as he started to turn away, almost touching his arm.

“It’s okay, I don’t-” she began, but he stepped out the speeder and too far away to make contact before she could finish. She snatched her hand back before he could notice. “Right,” she muttered to herself, climbing out her side of the speeder. “Let’s get to it.”


	3. Chapter 3

He was a sullen mess. Neela considered trying to show him how to use the analyzer, but he was too distracted. Instead of paying her any attention, he was picking through the rubble with his scanner but not doing much in the way of scanning.

She decided to leave him to his moping and get to work. It was obvious it was only dumb luck he’d asked her to help. He didn’t seem to think about much except for himself.

She had learned something about him after all.

The first field results didn’t look good. It looked like they ran a mining crawler over the orchard. Blackened stumps jutted up out of the ground in shambles. It wasn’t enough that they tore down the trees look for minerals, but the exhaust from the crawler hadn’t been shielded at all. Between the radiation and exhaust pollution, it would take a lot of healing to make that land capable of supporting crops again. She knew there were terraforming plants, but she sincerely doubted the rebellion had access to them.

She stuck the latest sample into her pack and stood up, ash fluttering around her ankles like a cloud. Made her cough. She closed the flap and looked around. Still silent. No birds or animals or anything, even now that the sun was starting to go down. Kallus was nowhere to be found.

She didn’t want to call him _Alexandr._ First names were for friends.

The farmhouse stood like a monument to the people that used to live here. She had been to plenty of farms over the years and she could imagine how it used to be. Kids running around, animals making pleased noises as they got their evening meal. It was probably real nice, pastoral and happy. Sort of place you’d take them up on the offer of a meal in exchange for a generous offer on their crops.

Not any more.

She was glad the house was standing. It would be better than staying in one of those pop up shelters they brought along. Kallus would have more space for his pouting.

Neela decided to make her way into the house before it got too dark. There wasn’t any power coming from the turbine, so she wanted to see if the backup generator was still working. Hot water and heat would make things a lot more comfortable.

There was still no sign of Kallus by the time she made it to the porch. The door was half open and it didn’t take much to push it the rest of the way. There was a trail of blown in dust drifted into the room. A small kitchen table was to the left of the door, two of the four chairs knocked over onto the floor. There was a pitcher with the evaporated remnants of water and dirty plates and utensils on top. 

She dropped her pack at her side unceremoniously and the analyzer made a thunk against the floor. It looked like they had just finished dinner when someone burst in through the door and dragged them off. She could almost hear the screams.

The hair on the back of her neck stood up.

“I don’t think-” She heard Kallus behind her but hadn’t heard his footsteps. He startled her and she whirled around fast, her hands balled into fists. She wanted to say something terrible, tell him he was right to feel terrible. It was _his_ fault. All of them. _Monsters._

Her heart was pounding.

“Oh spirits.” His voice was a rough croak. “We shouldn’t have come here.”

“You’re right,” she snapped back through clenched teeth. “You shouldn’t have. You could have stayed back in the Capital and be a fancy hero and not have to face any of it. Or you could have stayed in the Empire and pretended none if it was happening.” Neela couldn’t even look at him. “You were right.”

He didn’t reply. Didn’t even move but his mouth was open in surprise, at least before he closed it again and his jaw twitched underneath his beard.

“I’m going to go find the generator.” It wasn’t a question or a request. She stomped off into the hall and disappeared into the darkness past it, not looking behind her.

Once she was out of sight, she leaned up against the wall, trying to catch her breath. What was wrong with her?

She wasn’t being fair. Not to anyone. But it was terrifying. How lucky had she been to never have been caught up in any of this before? She always saw everything from far away before today. Even the rubble in the city -- they were already on the mend by the time she got there.

It was pointless to talk about it now. She knew she hadn’t been fair, but they weren’t going to be friends now. She’d seen to that. Her stupid feelings made her think he was something he wasn’t. She shouldn’t have expected him to be a hero. And it was better to keep to herself anyway.

She headed toward a sliver of light at the end of the hallway. At least she could fix the generator instead of breaking something else.

* * *

The generator wasn’t even broken, only switched off. The lights in the hallway flickered to life and she heard the hum of the heater kick on. It was harder to walk back into the main room. She wouldn’t even blame him if he’d gotten back in the speeder and left her there. It would be a long walk back. Enough time to figure out a new career and a way off the planet.

But he was still there. He’d picked up the chairs and cleared off the table, his equipment laid out, streaked with dust. Her analyzer and pack were there; the first set of dismal results on the display. He had a holocommunicator up and the transparent image of Sabine Wren was looking at him, her arms crossed over her chest.

“We made it to the first farm, but it doesn’t look good. It will need a lot of work before anything could grow here again.”

Sabine nodded. “We had to expect that. Maybe the one further away from the city will be in better shape.”

“We can hope,” he replied. “Either that or we’re going to have to call Hondo to see if he can get some supplies brought in. Without Ezra to keep him in check…” Kallus stopped. His shoulders slumped.

“Ugh, let’s not start with the pirate. Anyway, keep me updated with what you find tomorrow. Sabine, out.” 

Her image disappeared.

Kallus put his elbows on the table and put his face in his hands, but she could tell he’d heard her come in.

“I’m sorry,” he said, muffled into his hand. He rubbed his hand over his eyes.

“No, I am,” she said. She didn’t move past the doorway into the room and instead leaned against the frame. “You didn’t do this.”

“No, but I had a part in letting it happen.” He shook his head. “I knew they took some by force, but I didn’t expect them to abandon it afterwards. What was the point of it?”

Neela wrapped one arm around herself, grabbing her opposite elbow. “Because they could? To make sure everyone was too afraid to disobey?”

He raised his eyebrows in agreement. “Yes, likely so. They taught us that in the academy, but I don’t think it ever sunk in that they meant outside of the service as well. The Empire is rotten from the inside out. It took me too long to see it.”

“Just don’t get-” She started to say something but then stopped. She was the last person to be giving advice.

He frowned. “Go ahead.”

Neela took a breath. “Don’t get so, well, so caught up in yourself that you forget who really got hurt.”

“What?”

“You’re worried about your spirit, your...reputation and these people-” She gestured around the room. “They lost everything; their livelihood, their home. Maybe even their lives. You still have a chance to do better. They might not. Don’t belittle their loss by wasting time feeling sorry for yourself. Make it right instead.”

His face couldn’t seem to settle on an expression as he leaned back in the chair and rubbed the side of his neck. Eventually he made a little snort and nodded his head.

“That is why I risked my life to feel information to the rebels. Why I narrowly escaped with my life from Thrawn.” He looked up at her. “I think I forgot.”

Neela couldn’t help but smile back at him. “Easy enough. Idle hands and all that.”

“I _was_ meant to have a duty.”

“Well, you have one now. Help Lothal heal. And maybe you’ll get better along the way.”


	4. Chapter 4

It was easier after that. 

They talked to each other like people. Neela figured if they got through that mess, there wasn’t any point in tiptoeing around. She decided to treat him like anyone else on a work detail. 

Well, almost anyone. 

She thought their near falling out would help with these unwanted feelings. But he was still eloquent and intelligent, not to mention tall and handsome. Neela thought she’d turned that part of herself off. She’d indulged her feelings enough when she was young, but never with someone on her ship or her team. Better to have a good, uncomplicated time during a stop and move on. 

Until now, it had worked out well. Sometimes beings would try to seduce her, but she was quite tall and knew how to be intimidating. Most would steer clear. 

Alexandr Kallus was doing neither. He wasn’t trying to seduce her, but he also wasn’t steering clear of her. She knew logically it was all still simple coincidence, but it didn’t help how he made her feel.

And now, with the autopilot set on the speeder and at least an hours journey to the next farm, they had a chance to talk. He was more personable than she hoped he would be. He was making it impossible to shut her feelings down.

“I would have guessed you lived in the upper levels,” she admitted.

Alexandr shook his head. “I didn’t grow up in the underworld by any means, but my parents were decidedly average Imperial citizens. To hear them speak of it, nothing much changed when the Republic became the Empire. I was only a child, but my life was the same as it had always been.”

“For most people on Coruscant, I suspect it was the same,” she said. “Mine didn’t change either. We were already living on a freighter by the time all that happened. All that was different was the paperwork and the landing codes.”

“Destruction by inches.”

Neela nodded. It was a familiar story. More familiar than she’d expected. She hadn’t met many Imperial officers, but those she had all seemed to have the same privileged background. 

“I’m only surprised since the Imperial military seems-”

“Nepotistic?”

“Well, yes.”

“It wasn’t easy.” He leaned back, his leg bent and cocked up on to the seat between them. “Its strange for me now. I was very proud of my achievements and success, but I know they were only a reflection of the terrible mistakes I made.”

“I’m sure it didn’t seem that way at the time,” she said. 

“No.” He turned his head and looked forward, out at the twisting grey ribbon of the road stretched out in front of them. “It didn’t. It felt like I was doing the right thing. Bringing order to chaos.”

The sun was still rising and the sky was streaked with shades of pink and violet, rimming his face with a ring of colored light. His profile looked serene and a little sad, like an old stone statue. She quickly looked away, down at her hands in her lap.

“I don’t know that I ever thought about what I was doing. At all. I grew up on the freighter and slipped into a job, never made a choice. I floated along in the current,” she admitted. She distracted herself from how uncomfortable saying it out loud made her feel by inspecting her fingernails, running her thumb over the edges, slightly below the tops of her fingers. “Maybe you made some mistakes, but you made the best choice you could with what you knew. That’s better than not choosing at all.”

He didn’t reply right away. After all, what could he say to that? She figured someone like him, ambitious, honorable when he finally woke up to what the Empire was….he couldn’t relate. She wasn’t even sure she related. It never felt like there was a choice. Choices were risky and dangerous. Choices got her mother killed, or so her father always said. Keep your head down and your mind free of foolishness, my girl. It’ll keep you safe. 

She looked up and found him looking at her. He was leaning towards her, elbow on his crooked leg. His face still had that strange serene expression, but now the corners of his lips were tilted up, not down.

“Don’t give me too much credit,” he said. “If my parents hadn’t pushed me so hard, insisted I could make something of our family name?” He shrugged. “I might have washed out like most cadets did. But once I was there? The only choices were success or utter failure. And failure seemed a fate worse than death. I was lucky that I was good at fighting.”

“I guess we both got lucky to end up somewhere like this, where we know we are doing the right thing.”

He nodded, smiling as he leaned back into the seat again. “You’re a wise woman, Neela Gregor.“

“I’m certain no one’s ever accused me of that before today.”

Alexandr turned his head to look at her. “They were probably distracted by how pretty you are to realize it.”

Neela gave a bitter sounding snort. “But not you, I see.”

He raised an eyebrow but the rest of his expression didn’t change. “I wouldn’t say that.”

* * *

The next farm was smaller but almost completely intact. There weren’t any signs of fighting or struggle, no bleached bones or unhinged doors. It looked like the previous inhabitants packed up and walked away. 

It took the entire afternoon, but the soil samples were very promising. Neela smiled at the blinking green light on the analyzer. She smiled more when she showed Alexandr how to take samples and use the scanner. It was obvious he didn’t actually need her help with it at all. He could have done this alone and he would have been fine.

He could have brought anyone along to help and it wouldn’t have mattered, but he chose her anyway.

He said she was wise. And pretty. She couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Once they were done, he headed to check the outbuildings while she scouted the house for somewhere to stay for the night. It wasn’t like the first house with room for a family. It was one main room, with a small overhang for the mechanicals and a composting bathroom, but that was all. There was a hand pump for water and an old fashioned fireplace built into the wall. A pile of dry, cobwebbed wood was stacked nearby.

It was a good thing too, since the tiny, rusted generator was completely out of fuel. At least they’d be warm and have light, if no privacy.

No furniture either. Bedrolls and the fireplace would have to suffice.

Neela looked out the window at the front of the house. Alexandr had finished his scans and was crouched down, tucking his equipment back into the case. As bright as it still was, the glass windows would make her invisible to him, so she could stare as much as she liked.

He stood up gracefully and stretched, tipping his head from side to side and rolling his broad shoulders back. He was so tall, actually taller than she was. It wasn’t common for her, being 182 cm tall herself, but he towered over her. She’d never been with a human man taller than she was. A Zabrak on Nar Shaddaa once, but that was so long ago she couldn’t remember his name. 

Thing was, it wasn’t even how he looked that made her want to watch him. It wasn’t how he moved, intriguing as that was — he looked far more at home inside his skin that she ever felt. She suspected that day he tripped on her legs was an anomaly of distraction. But emotional pain distracted everyone, no matter how well trained against it.

He’d stopped moving and was standing still, staring off into the distance. The sun was setting behind the house and it shone on his back, making him a bright spot against the graying dark clouds in the sky to the east. He was the bright spot for her too, a shiny thing in the repetitiveness of her days.

Neela smiled on the corner of her mouth. It was worth enjoying, whatever it was. Since it wasn’t working to stop feeling this, she might as well savor it.

He picked up the scanner case and the pack with their supplies and turned toward the house. He didn’t leave behind footprints, the ground here not so barren that it made puffs of dust in his wake like the farm yesterday. This place had potential. A bit of effort and it would be full of life again. 

She skirted away from the window before he got close enough to see her through the glass. Instead, she sat on the floor and busied herself with stacking logs and kindling into the fireplace. It wasn’t her first time in a place clinging to the old way of doing things. Working a freighter took her everywhere there were resources and the people to gather them.

Alexandr walked in the door, humming underneath his breath. She looked back at him over her shoulder and he smiled at her.

“This place seems to have escaped the Empire’s notice.”

She set another log into the pile. “The soil looks healthy too. You’ll need to run it by some of the locals to see what would fare best out here, but I think we found what we were looking for.”

He crouched down beside her, startling her slightly. He moved so quickly and quietly she hadn’t noticed until he was right there. He nudged her shoulder. 

“Let me,” he said. “A trick we learned in survival school.” He tweaked some setting on his small blaster side arm and aimed at the base of one of the logs in the fireplace. One squeeze of the trigger sent a controlled bolt of energy into the wood and the fire flickered to life.

“That’s handy,” she chuckled, “But I suspected we have matches somewhere.”

He shrugged as he settled back and sat on the floor beside her. “Maybe.” He looked over at her. “I promised you some combat training, but the wind shifted. Colder. It think it might rain before we get the chance.”

“That’s alright. I don’t know that I’d be much good at anything more than a bar fight anyway. I am good at those. Unpredictable, they always said.”

“Sounds like your life has been more eventful than you let on, Neela.”

“Only seedier bars than I’ll admit to.”

He chuckled. His laughter came easier today. “Regardless, I promised. When we get back, we can make time.”

When we get back. It felt like a wet blanket draped over her shoulders. When they did get back, he’d return to being part of the Ghost crew and she’d go back to tightening screws and sorting cargo. It was sweet of him to offer, but she didn’t believe it. 

“Oh,” he said, noticing her shifting expression. “Unless you’d rather not.”

Neela looked up at him. He was looking at her, frowning. 

“It’s not that. But I’m sure once we’re back you’ll have more important things to do. More important people to see.”

“Why do you keep doing that?” he asked.

“Doing what?” 

He pursed his lips. “Behaving as if you aren’t worth anyone’s time, and especially not mine. Because I can assure you, that’s not the case.”

“You’re very kind.”

“Not particularly.”

She turned her face back to the fire, watching the flames grow along the wood. The wind gusted and a scattering of debris or pebbles clicked against the outside of the window. 

“I’m glad to be here, really.” She took a breath. “I’m used to being in the background. It was nice to be seen for a while, but it would be an oddity if you didn’t forget about me when we got back.”

“You are not as forgettable or invisible as you think you are.”

“No?“ She put him on the spot without thinking about it. “Did you know you were there the day I arrived here? You stood right next to me, but I doubt you saw me at all.”

He tilted his head down and looked up at her under his angular eyebrows. “You were standing right next to Gram Tacher. A decent man with the skill for turning dehydrated rations into something worth eating, though I didn’t know that about him at the time.”

She blinked at him. He…remembered?

He smirked. “I saw you first thing, standing there right in the front of the group. Tall and graceful with skin as clear and glossy as an axinite crystal, with your big round eyes and-“ He paused, canting his head to the side. “With those thick, long eyelashes like a Cathar.” He chuckled. “I couldn’t even look at you. I thought I was going to blush.”

Her cheeks certainly felt hot. “Liar.”

He shook his head. “May the Force strike me dead.”

“But you never-“

“I try to behave like a gentleman, even when it’s difficult.” He shifted his weight, like he was having a hard time getting comfortable. “Discovering you were more than a pretty face; capable, skilled, generous with empathy; hasn’t made it any easier.” He straightened up a little. “But I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Just...you should know. I won’t forget. I haven’t since that day.”

It felt hard to breathe. Her heart banged against her ribs like a cloud of moths on a lantern. It was all she could do to keep still, and she certainly couldn’t find any words to reply.

She felt his frown more than saw it from the corner of her eye. He started to move as if to get up and move away.

“I’m sorry,” he started. “I shouldn’t have-“

Her hand darted out before she could stop herself. “Don’t be sorry.”

He settled back down beside her. “It wasn’t my intention to-“ he began but she cut him off.

“Those were the nicest things anyone’s ever said about me.”

He turned his whole body toward her, crossing his legs in front of him, but careful not to move her hand from his arm. “That seems impossible. I suspect there are far more complementary things I could say, if I had the chance to know you better.”

“Do you want to?” she asked. She mimicked his posture, turning until her folded legs nearly touched his. “Know me better?”

“Desperately.” His voice was more than a whisper, but not much.

Her hand, still on the outside of his arm slipped down to the crook of his elbow. She curled her fingers around it.

His hand did the same to her but slipped up her forearm, fingers against her skin under the rolled-up sleeve of her shirt. His fingers felt warm despite how feverish her skin.

They both leaned forward at the same time, close enough that she felt the touch of his breath on her cheek. 

“Are you-“ she started, wanting to be sure this was really happening, that she hadn’t confused compassion, kindness for something else.

But before she could finish, he cut her off with a kiss.


End file.
